XIII,

Maybe all of us are already accustomed to the fact that this world was such an ugly and cruel place - and perhaps our hearts have stopped placing false hopes on a world that was beautiful.

When a person gets attacked, be it physically or verbally, he or she tends to put up this protective wall, a wall to prevent themselves from getting hurt. It's nothing wrong trying to protect yourself, it's actually a natural instinct any living thing would do. Little did i know, putting up this wall didn't only prevented me from getting hurt, it also prevented me from feeling loved.  

This wall made me push people away, it made me lose trust in people. It turned me into someone i didn't want to be, someone i really dislike. But every single time i let this wall down and let someone in, they'll end up hurting me and i'll end up putting the wall back up. And the cycle repeats. Of course, it's only part and parcel of life for us to get hurt, but when it happens to someone countless of times... it isn't so easy to just let your guard down anymore. There are some people who changed my mind, who made me realised that maybe people aren't so bad after all. These people also turned out to the the ones who hurt me the most.

Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship or friendship. Once the trust between two people is compromised, it's hard to build that trust back to what it was before. However, there are certain cases where disputes made the trust stronger. That's only when the friendship and bond between the two people are already strong in the first place.

Back to my main point, yes, it gets hard to open up to people sometimes. Yes, it feels like the whole world is some cruel place at times too. However, if we don't keep on trying and allowing space for change, how will you ever find out if there is good in this world? I'm not trying to talk like some expert or anything because i'm not. All i'm trying to express now is that it's okay to be afraid to let people in your life, especially if that has put you in a horrible spot. It's okay to want to shield yourself from the world, to protect yourself from getting hurt. But it's not okay to be doing this forever as you are also preventing yourself from feeling loved. Life is all about taking chances, taking risks, making yourself believe in things that are hard to believe. So don't let the bad part of the world take away your rights of feeling loved. 

Keep that in mind when you're making new friends and meeting new people. Have a great rest this weekend y'all.

Life is good, life is great.